I'm in love. Do you hear me? Love! Spell it out with me! I am in L-O-V-E! And you are the first to know. Actually, the first to know was a metal hipster/Rocksnobs Trainee I kind of know. Why was he the first to know? Because he happened to be standing right there when it happened. I turned to him on Monday night and announced, "I'm in love!" Yes indeedy, I am in love with Andrew W.K.
A few weeks back, I started to hear rumblings about Andrew W.K. and how much he rules. A short time later, I saw his album cover and I was hooked. Most people tend to enjoy the front cover, which is a full-face shot of Andrew W.K., looking like he just got punched in the nose. Hard. Blood is streaming down from his nose, down his chin and neck, and soaking what we can see of his shirt. That is so rock and roll! For me, the lure is the back cover. Andrew W.K. is standing with his arms crossed, in a perfect Lemmy pose. Lemmy couldn't do this pose any better himself, and he invented it. So Andrew W.K. is soaking wet in a white T-shirt and very light blue jeans. Looking like Lemmy. Nothing wrong with that!
Then I found out that Andrew W.K., like Santa Claus, was coming to town. And I couldn't go. My first day as a night student and I have to miss Andrew W.K. Well, I thought I would get over it. Then I heard the album. I didn't even have to hear the entire album. I heard one or two songs and I flipped. It is big, huge, dumb, stupid rock. The album is full of big guitars and lame (yet delightful) keyboards and predictable (yet delightful) sing-along rock anthems. It is wonderful.
So, I ended up lucking out. My class got out early. I happened to call LCG, who said, "Are you coming to the Andrew W.K. show? He goes on in 10 minutes! Get your ass down here!" Well, needless to say, I hauled on over to the rock show, and only missed a song or two. And could the show have been any more fabulous? No. In addition to the drummer and the bass player, we are talking three guitarists, plus a keyboard player. Who needs that many guitarists? Andrew W.K., that's who! Because he has such a giant band playing such simple rock, that is how he gets that big sound. I don't know how to tell you how great the show was. I found a review on CD Now that said the Andrew W.K. album sounds like a Queen cover band playing the classic works of Poison. So you can see why I love Andrew W.K. ever so.
And the showmanship! Andrew W.K. loves drum fills. The more elaborate a drum fill was, the more likely he was to play air drums. He does David Lee Roth kicks. He does David Lee Roth jumps. He strikes Rob Halford poses. He bangs his head like Ted Nugent. He does the fist pumping on all of the fist pumping rock and roll anthems. During a guitar solo, what does he do with the microphone? He stuffs it in the waistband of his jeans so he has both hands free to play air guitar. He throws water on the crowd. He jumps into the crowd. And he has long hair and dimples. Do you hear me? Studies have shown that having long hair and dimples is the fastest way to my heart. And the David Lee Roth moves don't hurt, either.
During the show, I noticed I was standing next to the metal hipster and asked him what he thought. He was undecided, and he remained undecided throughout the show, while I kept hollering at him, "They rule!" hoping to sway his opinion. And after the show, I was in one of those hypnotic states that only happens when you see a really good rock show. And that is when I turned to the hipster, eyes completely glazed over, and announced, "I'm in love!" He just laughed and gave me a rock and roll hug. I don't know if it's because I'm really cool or really sad.
Then Andrew W.K. himself walked by and my hypnotic state demanded that I go get him to sign my cleavage. The hipster was kind enough to hold my jacket while I managed to get my t-shirt off from under my button down without removing the top layer. Access would be more convenient with just the button down. Then off I went. "Sign 'em!" I said to my new favorite rock star. "Just a second." What? I got put on hold? Well, Andrew W.K. was doing autographs for some kids in the 10-year-old range. Then he came back to me and said, "Sorry, but there were children present." Hee-hee! The man won't sign cleavage with kids around. He's my favorite rock and roller!
And since he hasn't been a rock star for very long, he has not mastered the cleavage autograph. (Slash and L.A. Guns have it down, but those are boring stories for other days.) So I have more of a collarbone autograph from Andrew W.K. That is so cool! I told him I loved the album, he asked me if I liked the show. In my adrenaline overdosed state, all I could say was that it was big fun rock and roll. He smiled and told me that it what it was supposed to be, gave me the rock and roll handshake, and I wandered off in a daze.
Did I mention that he has long hair and dimples? Yeah, I guess I did..... So, I have a new favorite rock and roller, and a new desktop pattern on my computer. Yes, the power of Andrew W.K.'s long hair and dimples were able to overthrow the long hair and dimples of Al Snow. So, what do I have to say about Andrew W.K.? He has a great rock album, is a great rock showman, wears a great outfit, really, I think he actually only owns the one outfit, and is a great looking guy. He is the entire rock and roll package. And what's not to love about that?