You may have read the main man article the other day. You may be wondering, "exactly, what is the definition of someone who is too lame to listen to T. Rex?" I'm so glad you asked! Please take a look at the following list. It is the track listing from The Slider. It is also going to function as a rock and roll eye chart.
| Side One | Side Two |
| Metal Guru | Telegram Sam |
| Mystic Lady | Rabbit Fighter |
| Rock On | Baby Strange |
| The Slider | Ballrooms Of Mars |
| Baby Boomerang | Chariot Choogle |
| Spaceball Ricochet | Main Man |
| Buick Mackane |
So, what did you see? Did you see a list of songs from an album you already have? That answer is correct. Or did you see a list of completely unrelated words that seem to be trying to pass themselves off as song titles? That is also a correct answer.
An incorrect answer would be, "So, why did you use The Slider and not Electric Warrior for your eye chart?" I don't know...I guess I could have chosen the record that everyone knows, since it contains the big hit Bang A Gong (Get It On), or instead, I could choose the album that I like better. In fact, The Slider was my very first T. Rex purchase.
I admit that I did go to the store for Electric Warrior, but they were out of stock. So I read the song titles on The Slider, said to myself, "Ah, yes. Ballrooms Of Mars. Sounds promising," and left the store with a shiny new T. Rex cassette. I loved The Slider so much I didn't even buy Electric Warrior for another two or three years. Had I looked at the tracks on The Slider and said to myself, "This guy is too weird," well, then I would have been too lame to listen to T. Rex.
There are two key steps to understanding T. Rex:
1. The song titles make no sense, and neither do the lyrics.
2. Every T. Rex song sounds the same. If you know Bang A Gong, you know the T. Rex catalog.
Having said that, let me remind you that if either of the above guidelines bother you, then you are too lame to listen to T. Rex. You should not care about lyrics such as, "Just like a silver-studded sabre-tooth dream," or....well, wait. I was just browsing the lyric sheet of The Slider, looking for more borderline stupid lyrics, when I realized something. These lyrics rule! Silver-studded sabre-tooth dream indeed!
"Got giraffes in my hair, and I don't care." The man has giraffes in his hair, but...he doesn't care! He's Marc Bolan! He's got things to worry about other than African hoofed animals frolicking in his curls. He's got albums to make and velvet fashions to buy! And apparently, he has to play the Spaceball Ricochet. I don't know what that means. I don't know what any of the songs mean. I suspect that none of them have any meaning at all. But I don't care. (With or without giraffes in my hair.) If I cared, I would be too lame to listen to T. Rex, and I can't be having that.