I have a rock and roll recipe for you. Combine twenty-nine minutes with twenty-eight seconds. Add eleven well crafted pop tunes. Simmer with Jack Blades producing and John Kalodner doing artist development. What do you get? A hit record! Right? Right. Well, not always. In this case, you get a hit record that two people own. Those people are Jeff J. and myself.
The record in question is the self-titled debut by Samantha 7, which was C.C. DeVille's ill-fated post-Poison band. Jeff J. and I love Samantha 7 and it happened by accident. Please follow me back to the year 2000 when Jeff J. and I discovered that Samantha 7, in addition to being a great novelty item, is also a great rock and roll band.
But first let us flash back even further, to 1987. Jeff J. and I were the biggest Poison fans ever. We were totally devoted to the guitar genius of C.C. DeVille. We were also thirteen years old, so it's okay that we thought C.C. was a brilliant guitarist. We have both since outgrown it. But we never outgrew our love for the man himself, which brings us right back up to the year 2000.
Our local paper told us that C.C. DeVille's band was coming to town. Obviously, we had to go. Because not only was C.C. coming to town, he was playing at a sports bar in the suburb where Jeff J. and I grew up. That's right. It was within bike riding distance of our childhood homes. Had you told us in 1987 that someday C.C. DeVille would be playing a place within biking distance, we would have bought calendars that covered fifteen years and waited patiently for the year 2000, going through all other phases as a way to make time until C.C. arrived at the horrible sports bar up the street. Jeff J. and I were also particularly enchanted with the fact that C.C. was going to be at a sports bar. We enjoyed knowing that if we wanted to, we could eat nachos and see C.C. DeVille at the same time.
So we went to the show, Jeff J. plus his lovely bass player, his elusive and mysterious drummer, and me. A merry foursome of Poison fans, to be sure. We stood right up front, because no one was coming between Jeff J. and me and C.C. DeVille. We couldn't wait! In fact, we got there so early we had to watch the roadie set up. That's right. Samantha 7 only had the one roadie. They're on a budget!
And imagine my thrill when I realized that I recognized the roadie. I was thinking, "I know that guy. I know that guy. Who is that guy?" And then it dawned on me. It was Michael Lardie, keyboardist from Great White. Excuse me? Just about the only job description worse than keyboard player for Great White has to be roadie for Samantha 7. I alerted Jeff J. to the presence of Michael Lardie. Jeff J. informed me that he had heard that Michael Lardie was playing second guitar in the band. But he hadn't heard the roadie part which was the best part of the night, pre-show.
Of course, the best part of the show itself was the arrival of Mr. C.C. DeVille. When C.C. made his entrance, it was like Christmas morning. Jeff J. and I just turned to each other and grinned, as if we could not believe the splendor of it all. The awe and wonder that went along with being three feet away from C.C DeVille, guitar genius.
At the time, we didn't know any of the songs. We just knew that we loved C.C. And the show turned out to be a very pleasant surprise. They rocked. And since they only had one album that isn't even a full thirty minutes long, the show was padded with plenty of banter from C.C. And if you have ever seen him on Rock And Roll Jeopardy you know that the man can not, will not stop talking. Which is fine, because he always has interesting things to say.
In addition to telling stories about all of the songs and plugging his merchandise, he also had lovely things to say about, say, the sports bar. "Did you guys eat here? The steak was delicious." Now under ordinary circumstances the phrase, "the steak was delicious," is just an ordinary statement. But when C.C. DeVille says it, it is the coolest thing that anyone has ever said, ever.
He also told such classic stories as, when he first moved to Los Angeles he fell in love. And it turned out she was a dominatrix! He didn't know! And that was the inspiration for the song Slave Laura. He also has the greatest song ever, called Bonnie Bradley. He loves the girl across the street so he buys a dog so his dog and her dog can play. He claimed it was a true story, and why would C.C. make that up? And then when he was trying to sell shirts, he pointed to the Samantha 7 shirt he was wearing, that had a big old picture of himself on it, and said, "My mother says I look like Frank Sinatra." How can you not love C.C DeVille? If you don't love C.C DeVille, you are not human. I'm pretty sure that this is a fact.
We loved Samantha 7 so much that three days later we drove two and a half hours to a different state to see them again. This time C.C. was really excited about walleye. "You have this fish called walleye..." and he proceeded to discuss how tasty it is. He mostly told the same stories that we had heard at the first show, but we didn't care! We love C.C DeVille! Jeff J. and I were so enchanted. And once again we were right up front. We were so up front that at some point, C.C. walked over to Jeff J's lovely bass player and bit her on top of the head. We didn't understand either. She was horrified, (the look on her face when she turned around was priceless) and Jeff J. and I were delighted.
After the long weekend of Samantha 7 shows, Jeff J. and I were totally devoted to the album. He loves it because any time he plays it, it takes him right back to the shows. "Because they were so dead on," says Jeff J. And it is true. Samantha 7 was a remarkably tight live act. Unfortunately, no one bought the record but us so Samantha 7 dissolved and C.C DeVille went back on the road with Poison. But Jeff J. and I will always have our C.C.autographs, our Samantha 7 albums, and our fond memories. And the knowledge that the steak was delicious.