How much do I love Bill Wyman? So much! More specifically, how much do I love the solo albums of Bill Wyman? So much! And most specifically of all, how much do I love Bill Wyman's Stone Alone album? So very, very much. My love for Stone Alone is off the charts, even though Stone Alone itself only charted at #166. Stone Alone came out in 1976 and it is disco flavored. I can't decide what is better, the fact that a Rolling Stone made a disco record or the fact that a Rolling Stone made a disco record when he was thirty-nine years old.
This was not Bill's first solo album. He had already released Monkey Grip two years earlier. But Stone Alone is Bill's greatest solo album by far. Let's start with the cover. It is a big old full-face shot of Bill. (Technically it is a 3/4 face shot of Bill. Either way, you didn't really want to see Bill's face that closely.) He is looking thoughtful. Maybe he is mulling over the fact that he is a Stone Alone. Maybe he is thinking about how cool he looks wearing the huge amount of rouge that he is wearing for the photo. (And there is no way we can call it blush. The man is wearing rouge.)
Bill is also wearing smart brown eyeshadow, and an awful lot of black eyeliner. Eyeliner! Although, and you know it pains me to say it, because I loves me the old guys in the eyeliner...but...it doesn't look very cool. The lettering on the album cover is the neon tube looking disco style lettering, and it is pink. Pink! My only regret about the pink lettering is that it doesn't match Bill's rouge, which I think is supposed to look "natural." Uh-huh.
Please join me now, as we look at the back cover. Oh, my. We have a full body shot of Bill. I am so glad I got to see his ultra tight jeans, which he has cuffed. They go nicely with the silver boots (under the jeans, not over the jeans, thank goodness for small favors) that look like they are made of mylar. And the black turtleneck with rhinestone studs around the actual neck. (Once you know they are there, you can see the rhinestone collar on the front cover photo too.)
Behind Bill, we have what appear to be some disco druids. I don't know what they are! It's his band, I guess, but apparently they are shrouded in secrecy. Because they are shrouded in big pieces of shiny silver fabric that match Bill's boots. Speaking of Bill's boots, there are flowers at his feet. I really think I need to have a talk with Pierre Laroche. According to the liner notes, he is responsible for Cover concept, set design & make-up. So the entire horror is on Pierre's head.
Well, not the entire horror. I'm pretty sure Pierre isn't the one who decided it would be a good idea for Bill to sing. I mean, Bill's voice is okay, but I don't think that it is strong enough to support an entire album. But apparently I'm the only one who thinks so, because the fact that Bill was singing didn't discourage the stars from being special guests. Who is on this album? Ruth and Bonnie Pointer, Van Morrison, Joe Walsh, Dr. John, Al Kooper, and of course, Ronnie Wood. Because what would a solo album be without Special Thanks To Ronnie Wood in there somewhere? Nothing!
The ever-present Ronnie Wood is good, but there is something even better on Stone Alone. This album contains the bestest thing ever. For some mysterious reason, Bill decided to record a cover of the song If You Wanna Be Happy. You know the song! As in, never make a pretty woman your wife. As in, get an ugly girl to marry you. Oh yes. I don't know if I own anything quite as delightful as Bill Wyman singing If You Wanna Be Happy.
Wait! I do! I do own one thing that is more delightful than Bill Wyman singing If You Wanna Be Happy. I own a Stone Alone t-shirt, carefully crafted by Jeff J. and his lovely bass player just for me. It is a hideous baby pink shirt with an iron-on of the Stone Alone cover. We chose a pink shirt to match the disco lettering. I can state with confidence that last summer I was the coolest kid at the Bill Wyman show, and it was all thanks to my pink Stone Alone t-shirt. (Technically, it was thanks to Jeff J. and his lovely bass player, who made me the shirt.)
I should mention, at some point, that track one on Stone Alone is an excellent piece of work. It is actually written by the same people who wrote If You Wanna Be Happy, with one extra (non-Bill Wyman) contributor. It is called A Quarter To Three and it is a swinging dance tune. It is definitely a sockhop type song, even if it does have the dreaded Van Morrison playing saxophone. (I know I shouldn't hate Van. But I hate a segment of his audience, and I hold him personally responsible for my irritation.) Oh, well. A Quarter To Three still rocks my world.
Actually the entire album rocks my world, particularly since I just had a look at the inner sleeve. Oh, my my. The record sleeve contains a giant version of the back cover photo. The disco druids are larger than life, and I can see that one of them has a tambourine. I just never get tired of this album.