Well, looky what I have here. I have two articles from my local newspaper. One is dated June 5, 1987, and the other is dated June 8, 1987. You have five seconds to guess what both of the articles are about! Do you know? Of course you do! Both articles are about Bon Jovi. Because 15 years ago this week, Bon Jovi came through town on the Slippery When Wet tour. (Two sold out shows, of course.)
So the article from the 5th was picked up from the Baltimore Sun and it tells us all about the sensational Bon Jovi. How the group went from average band to superstardom thanks to Top 40 radio. The article from the 8th is a review of the concerts by my local music critic. He, by the way, is, always has been, and always will be, a jackass.
Anyway, the article about the sensational Bon Jovi tells us that one of the reasons that You Give Love A Bad Name is so huge is because of the catchy chorus. (The article calls it, "the persistent selling of the chorus.") Jon Bon Jovi states that early on, an A & R guy told him the phrase, "don't bore us, get to the chorus," and apparently Jon Bon Jovi took that as law. I don't know if that is a very good law. You know, I'm pretty sure Bob Dylan doesn't get to choruses very often, and he doesn't seem to bore people. But comparing Jon Bon Jovi to Bob Dylan is like comparing someone marginally talented to someone who is pretty good, so I'll just stop right now.
The article about "don't bore us, get to the chorus," neglects to mention one thing. The fact that both of the catchiest, most chorus-heavy songs on the Slippery When Wet album were not just written by Jon and Richie. There was a third hand in the mix. That's right. When you hear that drum kick in right before the chorus of Livin' On A Prayer, you know that the hitmaking hand of Desmond Child was nearby.
Can we discuss, briefly, the evils of Desmond Child? Bon Jovi was a pretty good rock band until Desmond Child stepped into the picture. The first two albums are fairly solid rock and roll. And then Desmond Child appeared. And the era of fringy leather jackets was ushered in not long after that. Why would anyone hire Desmond Child? Oooh! Oooh! Because he co-wrote the KISS disco hit, I Was Made For Lovin' You? Because he was in that tremendously successful group Desmond Child and Rouge? Because he would later grow up to write Livin' La Vida Loca? These answers are all incorrect.
The correct answer is, you would never hire Desmond Child for any reason. Do you hear me? No reason! The man wrote Livin' La Vida Loca! He's a jackass! He ruined Bon Jovi, he helped ruin KISS, he helped ruin Aerosmith, and he was in a group called Desmond Child and Rouge. He wasn't good enough to be in Tony Orlando and Dawn! He had to be in a cheap knockoff group. And why is it that two of his biggest hits both start with the word livin'? Is it his lucky word? Or is he out of ideas? That's just great. Just when I thought music could not get any worse, Desmond Child has started borrowing ideas from Desmond Child.