Sometimes I think that I should gain two hundred pounds, be really sweaty, and buy a ruffled shirt. Why? Because I love Meat Loaf. He is my favorite unlikely rock star. I think his Behind The Music called him an unlikely rock star about once every seventy seconds, just in case we forgot that he was a tubby sweaty guy wearing frills. But that is why I love Meat Loaf.
Sure, wedding DJs everywhere cringe when they hear the words Meat and Loaf in the same sentence, because it conjures up visions of people in their early forties dancing drunkenly to Paradise By The Dashboard Light, but that's just too bad. It's not my fault that Jim Steinman wrote such a killer tune. Nor is it my fault that there are some people who actually choose the sucky profession of wedding DJ. They can settle right down and enjoy Meat Loaf with me.
I think Paradise By The Dashboard Light should be the most overplayed song on classic rock radio. Forget Stairway To Heaven, I want more Meat Loaf! I never, ever get tired of singing Paradise By The Dashboard Light in my car. The only problem is, who should I be in the second part of the song? Do I want to sing the Meat Loaf part, or the Ellen Foley part? I, of course, know both parts, but I usually opt to be Meat Loaf. Meat Loaf has the much better part. Ellen Foley is just a bully in poor Meat Loaf's tormented recollection of being a teenager, while Meat Loaf is the showstopper. The man can belt out a tune.
But I don't just love Paradise By The Dashboard Light, I love the entire Bat Out Of Hell album. The entire Bat Out Of Hell experience, if you will. I got my first copy nine years ago, and at this point I am either on my third or fourth copy, I don't quite recall how many LPs I have gone through. I would think that my Meat Loaf purchasing was excessive, but once many years ago, I read an interview with Meat Loaf where he said that he bought a new copy of Hotel California every year. So I am following in the steps of the man himself. (Minus the sweating and the ruffles.)
There is one thing I've never quite been clear on, though. Is Bat Out Of Hell a concept album? It sure feels like one. It's got elaborate cover art, it's got really long songs that all seem to fit together, but I still don't know. Does it in fact tell a story, or is it just a nice collection of depressing songs about chicks? I can't tell.
I should know, considering how many times I sat through the Meat Loaf Behind The Music, but I was too busy hollering, "Meat Loaf rules!" any time he said anything, so I missed some stuff. Same goes for his VH1 Storytellers episode. I probably could have benefitted from some of Meat Loaf's stories, and I probably could have gotten some good information about his songs, but I was busy getting all overexcited about how much Meat Loaf rules. Because Meat Loaf does indeed rule. Right after ham, Meat Loaf is the greatest of all meats.