Last Friday night, the Aspiring Pirate and I got a hot tip. A super hot tip. We were informed that the mall was giving away a free kiosk. You know, a kiosk. One of those tacky little carts in the mall where tacky people peddle tacky wares. And not just any mall, the dreaded Mall of America. We learned that we could enter to win a kiosk with a free year of rent! We could be peddlers! We got all excited and decided to go to the mall the very next day. We had to win that kiosk! Of course, we had to figure out what we were going to sell at our kiosk.
We decided on Rocksnobs t-shirts. The Pirate was of the opinion that we needed some variety, and since the Pirate is in a band, he wanted space for his CDs and t-shirts. So, we could only come up with two things we wanted to sell. We decided that we were going to need filler. "Hemp bracelets!" said I. We agreed on hemp bracelets because they are cheap to make, and we can make them while watching TV or listening to Queen. (Or, you know, working at our kiosk.)
And without much effort, I got the Pirate to agree to macramé plant holders. "I want to bring back the '70s!" "Fine." Yes! Rock and roll and crafts! We were going to have the greatest kiosk ever! And then, for reasons that are unclear to me now, we decided to listen to Meat Loaf on the way to the mall. Then we were very excited about our Saturday of listening to Meat Loaf and winning a kiosk.
My phone rang at 12:30 on Saturday afternoon, waking me right up. It was the freshly awakened Pirate calling. The, "do we really want to go to the mall?" discussion ensued. We had a groggy, grumbly conversation, because we were wondering how badly we really wanted a kiosk. Then he said it. "Hey. Weren't we going to listen to Meat Loaf?" "Dude! We are so going to the mall."
Then we got all giddy over our kiosk and our favorite unlikely rock star. I told him, "I'll come pick you up!" Five hours later, I actually showed up. I was wearing vinyl pants and he was wearing plastic pants. We were all decked out to go win a kiosk! An hour later, we finally got in the car and the Meat Loaf began. We rolled down the windows and listened to Paradise By The Dashboard Light really loudly. We were giggling and the people in the convertible next to us glared. I don't think they understood the joys of listening to Meat Loaf at top volume. They definitely would not have understood the fact that when we pulled up to the gas station we sat in the car until Paradise By The Dashboard Light had finished.
Then we got some Vanilla Cokes and started Bat Out Of Hell at the beginning. So much Meat Loaf goodness! So much fun! And then we got to the mall. And we got confused. We didn't know where to go to win the kiosk. So we just wandered around, looking for an information booth. And looking at other kiosks. The general consensus was, "Ours is cooler," even if ours was still hypothetical. But since we had finally arrived at the mall, we had become dead serious about our need for a kiosk. Especially after we decided that another one of our products would be sass. As in, if you came up to our kiosk to talk to us, be prepared for real time interactive Rocksnobs conversation.
As much as I want to spend twelve hours a day at the mall, I already have a job. So we decided that the Pirate would be the employee. He would work the kiosk from open to close every day. I love winning a kiosk if I never have to be there! This deal just keeps on getting better and better. And then we found the "enter to win" literature. And we were crushed. The mall wanted us to submit a product sample. How are we supposed to submit a sample of ourselves dispensing sass? We can't!
And, they wanted to help us succeed by giving us staff and marketing assistance. We didn't want help! We just wanted a free kiosk! We wanted to staff the kiosk and do the marketing on our own! And we only had a week before the contest ended. I have finals coming up! I didn't have time to macramé anything!
So, we didn't enter to win the kiosk. We just left the mall looking sad. Until we realized that we had Meat Loaf in the car. We sat in the parking ramp listening to Meat Loaf and coming up with new Rocksnobs products, such as Gothic Beach Party. And even though we don't have a kiosk (lousy contest rules) we do have a building picked out for Rocksnobs International Headquarters. How exciting is that! We drove past it on our way back from the mall, listening to Meat Loaf very loudly, and the Pirate said, "There's our building!" We envisioned the day we could change the sign on the building to Rocksnobs Headquarters. On that day we'll take a half-day and drive around listening to Meat Loaf.