I saw a pretty good Cinderella cover band the other night. The set list was carefully chosen, it was truly back to back to back hits. It was all early Cinderella, classic Cinderella, if you will. All songs were pulled from the first two records, with the exception of Shelter Me and Heartbreak Station, the token hits from the Heartbreak Station album. The 1994 release, Still Climbing, was not represented at all. The only remotely obscure song was Push Push, and since it was from Night Songs the crowd knew it and sang along.
The event, of course, took place at a cheesy bar. Not a cheesy sports bar á la Samantha 7, but a cheesy bar nonetheless. And the place was packed. One of the security guys told me it was probably the biggest night they had ever had. I can only assume that it's because the Cinderella cover band was, in fact, Cinderella.
I guess I had a good time, I haven't really decided yet. The show had the potential to be good. The band is the four original members, which is always a good sign. And Cinderella was always one of the better bands of their era. I fondly remember listening to Night Songs a whole lot as a youth. They were never my very favorites, because I had Bon Jovi and Poison. Cinderella maybe made my top five. They had a neat logo, they dressed cool, and they had Eric Brittingham. He had much blond hair. Mmm, Eric Brittingham.
So I figured at the very least I would be entertained. I also figured I would hear Somebody Save Me and float back to 1987 for a brief spell. Boy, that didn't happen. I had a bigger nostalgia trip at the Motörhead show. Somebody Save Me floated me back instead to the Beavis and Butthead episode where they saw that video. Instead of freaking out on how good the song still is, (or at least on my fond memories of when I thought that song was good) I could just hear Beavis and Butthead when they saw the video for Somebody Save Me. They were not impressed with the music, the hair, or the look.
Man, me neither. Man, oh man. The Cinderella show. Remember when Bart went to work for Fat Tony, but had to stay after school one day and missed mixing the drinks for the important meeting? Someone else had to make the cocktails, and Fat Tony's associate asked, "What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?" I spent the show wondering what I had done to deserve such a flat, flavorless performance. I don't know if I've ever seen a band that relied so heavily on autopilot.
Highlights of the show:
1. The guy in the sleeveless Savatage Gutter Ballet shirt.
2. The really lame couple slow dancing to Heartbreak Station. Every now and then, the guy would take a swig of beer over his girl's shoulder as they swayed.
3. And, of course, the middle-aged guy with the much hair who was wearing cowboy boots, tight Levi's, a long sleeved white shirt, and a leather vest. You can't go to a show like Cinderella without seeing one of those guys.
So there was some enjoyment to be had while looking at the crowd. But the music? It was mechanical. It was dull. There was a mechanical, dull drum solo. A boring drum solo. (Is there another kind? Yes! But they are rare and to be treasured.) The Lillian Axe Fan informed me that it was the exact same drum solo Fred Coury did in 1989. Yikes. That means he's been on autopilot for thirteen years.
Then this goateed drummer I know came by. LAF told Goatee that Fred was playing the drum solo from 1989. Goatee responded with, "He's playing to a click track. Classy!" and then he wandered away. When he wandered back, I damn near tackled him, thinking he could answer for me the big question of the night. "Who is that Dave Navarro looking guy playing bass?" "That's Eric Brittingham." No! Really? He had tattoos. He had a goatee. He had a glossy black Dave Navarro bowl haircut. Where was the blond goodness?
Oh, the whole thing was just terrible. The performance was low energy. Tom Keifer still puts on his top hat for some songs. They still hide their keyboard player. Jeff LaBar still tosses his guitar over his shoulder. And they are still touring off an album released in 1986. What a drag. I think I've decided. I'm pretty sure I didn't have a good time at the Cinderella show.