When my Queen phase was all shiny and new, I went through several Queen sub-phases. At first, my favorite member was Freddie Mercury. He is the voice, the one in the satin jumpsuits, and an excellent role model for being grand and pompous. And then John Deacon became my favorite member. I loved watching The Magic Years and seeing everyone paint him as the sweetest man alive. But then the years of playing guitar caught up with me, and I came to my senses and realized that, of course, Brian May was the greatest of all Queen members.
And then my gaze settled on Roger Taylor. It was like being at the gas station, staring at the candy bars, and then seeing a Toffifay and realizing that the snack I needed was there all along. Roger, Roger, Roger. Why had I not noticed Roger Taylor before? He's the blond! Show me the member of the band that looks like David St. Hubbins, and I'll show you my favorite member of the band. That's just how it works. Roger is the blond, yet I had managed to overlook him. That makes no sense! But that's okay, because it's ten years later, and the Roger phase is still present and accounted for.
I can blame Roger Taylor for so many of my peculiarities it isn't even funny. The sweet tooth that I have for drummers? Roger's fault. My preference for boys in leather pants? Blame Roger. The fact that I use the initials RMT when I get a high score on a pinball machine? That comes straight from Roger Meddows-Taylor. RMT aren't my initials! Never have been! But the pinball machines don't know, do they? Roger, Roger, Roger.
I lost my mind for Roger when I was in high school, and when I was eighteen, I was seriously considering getting a Roger tattoo. You know his handsome solo photo in A Night At The Opera? Wouldn't that make a fabulous tattoo? I thought so too. I never did go through with it, because I gathered up enough common sense to realize that eventually, I would probably regret having a tattoo of Queen's drummer. (It warms my heart to know that had I gotten the Roger tattoo, I would still like it. The Roger tattoo does exist, only in my mind, and every now and then I think of it fondly.)
And a couple of years after Freddie died, I became concerned about what would happen when Roger Taylor died. I was still traumatized by the unceremonious way I had learned about Freddie's death, and I didn't want to repeat that again. Also, I had always secretly blamed Sulky Wannabe Artist #2 for Freddie's death, because she had told it to me so carelessly. I wanted to make sure that I didn't blame any of my friends for the death of Roger, so I implemented a plan. I actually chose people who would be the ones to tell me when Roger Taylor died. Of course, those assigned to the job are long gone from my life, so just hope that you aren't the one to break the news to me.
But that hasn't been the only difficult part of my Roger phase. There are some other (more cheerful) problems that I have had. I have spent years defending the songwriting abilities of Roger in general, and the song I'm In Love With My Car in particular. People like to fight with me about whether or not that song should have made it onto A Night At The Opera. Because smack dab in the middle of pomposity and fabulousity, we have Roger, in love with his car. I will tell you what I tell everyone else. He rhymed, "forget her" with "carburetor." Genius! He told his girl that he had to forget her, on account of the fact that he would rather buy himself a new carburetor. You tell her, Roger!
But there is a downside to his songwriting. The solo albums. There is a part of my record collection that can be blamed on Roger Taylor. The bad solo album part of my collection. First of all, I don't just own one copy of Roger's bad solo albums. I own multiple copies of most of them. Strange Frontier? Oh, what is wrong with me? I thought I had three copies of Strange Frontier. I just double-checked my records, and I have four of them. Four! Four copies of Strange Frontier! I have Strange Frontier obsessive compulsive disorder. I have never seen a copy of it without buying it. I don't see it that often. But still, four copies. I am a Roger hog.
Then we have Fun In Space. I have that on LP twice, and once on cassette. I missed out on his Happiness release from the early 90s, (I know, I'm not a real Roger fan. I'll hang my head now. But I couldn't find the vinyl! I didn't want a CD!) I also have 1998's Electric Fire on LP, which is an import that I paid way too much for. I have a 45 from that album, also expensive. I have both the first album by The Cross, and a 12 inch single by The Cross. Most of it is dreck, plain and simple, but if it is a Roger product, I must own it.
And because of my Roger habit, I find myself with a whole batch of bad solo albums from other important artists. Bill Wyman, oh, I love him so, but would I have loaded up on his solo albums if Roger hadn't set the trend? And just the other day I noticed just how many Ronnie Wood albums I have. What was I thinking? And when I was looking just now at The Cross, I saw that I have a David Crosby/Graham Nash album. Why was that a good idea? You know how Earl Scheib will paint any car? I'll buy any solo album. Thanks a whole lot, Roger. Seventies teen idols and bad solo albums, that's my record collection in seven words or less. All because of Roger! (My bad taste and poor judgement have nothing to do with it, I'm sure.)
But by focusing on Roger's bad solo records, we overlook one thing. He is a great drummer. He is the drummer from the one of the greatest rock bands of all time. It is also his fault that I love big splashy cymbals. I don't know so very much about the technical aspects of drumming, but I know what I like. I can't tell you whether or not a drummer is good or bad, but I can tell you if I like them. And if I like them, odds are good that it is because they play like Roger, or they use elements that I have heard used by Roger.
Fine, I know that Roger was not the first person to use big splashy cymbals, but he is the first person I noticed who used big splashy cymbals. To this day, I just need to hear some big splashy cymbals, and I have a new favorite drummer. I always like Nirvana okay, I thought they were pretty good, but I wouldn't go out of my way to hear them. But Dave Grohl? Splashy cymbals and bouncy hair! I love him! Love, love, looooove Dave Grohl. And he loves Queen! I love people who love Queen! They have good taste. And if they love Roger? If they love Roger then they have the best taste of all. Unless, of course, they like his solo albums.