Have you seen the new commercial for The Clapper? It rules! I have always approved of The Clapper, because I like the, "Clap on....clap off....clap on, clap off, The Clap-per," song. But the new commercial is just fabulous. In the very first scene, the guy who is selling The Clapper looks an awful lot like The Nature Boy, Ric Flair. I have seen this commercial about five million times this winter, yet the only time I ever get to watch television is when I am at LCG's house for wrestling. And the guy looks like Ric Flair! Coincidence? (Okay, they run the commercial on the shows after wrestling, but they gotta know that we are still watching.)
Anyway, whenever the commercial comes on the television, I holler, "Ric Flair!" and LCG responds with, "Woo!" And then he points out that The Clapper would be so much better if it was really a Ric Flair product, in which case it would be The Woo!er. You come stylin' and profilin' into your house, holler, "Woo!" and the light in your entry hall goes on. You hang your sequined robe up in the closet, proceed to the kitchen, say "Woo!" and on comes your television and your coffee maker. Woo!
But last night I noticed something else in the commercial. There is a smiling lady who has her stereo hooked up to The Clapper. She claps on, and out comes some beautiful classical music. Which I thought was all well and good until it occurred to me: You can't listen to Radio Ga Ga if you have your stereo hooked up to The Clapper.
I don't know about you, but when I am listening to Radio Ga Ga, I have to do the clapping part in the chorus. On the phone? Doing dishes? In the car? It doesn't matter. I am a trained Queen fan. You can even just walk up to me and say, "All we hear is..." and I will drop everything to respond with (clap, clap.) You can't do that if your stereo is hooked up to The Clapper!
Stereo Playing Queen: "All we hear is..."
Me: (Clap, Clap.)
Stereo: (Shuts off.)
Me: "Dang." (Clap, Clap.)
Stereo Playing Queen: "Radio ga ga..."
Me: (Clap, Clap.)
Stereo: (Shuts off again.)
Me: "Um. Hmm." (Sigh. Clap, Clap.)
Stereo Playing Queen: "Radio goo goo..."
Me: (Clap, Clap.)
Stereo: (Shuts off again.)
(I slump down at the coffee table and pound my head against it. The Clapper mistakes it for clapping and the stereo starts up. I get up and get my sequined robe out of the front closet as Radio Ga Ga continues to play.)
Me: "Woo!"
And everything in the house shuts off. Because fortunately for me, The Woo!er overrides The Clapper.