Of all the seventies teen idols that I love, I think that I love the Bay City Rollers best of all. I realize that just the other day I told LCG that I love Shaun Cassidy best, but I think that is because I had just heard his cover of Once Bitten, Twice Shy on the radio, so my teen idol vision was temporarily blurred.
When people think of the Bay City Rollers, if they think of them at all, they think of their sister, or maybe their babysitter, or some other preteen girl they knew in the seventies. Or they think of the tartan. Or they think of the pants with the flood ankles. Then they think about how the flood ankles were trimmed with tartan. But no matter what you think about the trousers they wore, stop for a minute and think about the music. The first Bay City Rollers album is a pop masterpiece, and I suggest that you give it a listen. If I had to pick my top one hundred albums, it would definitely be on the list.
The Bay City Rollers have two things going for them. Well, if you ask me, they have many things going for them, but there are two solid points that I can make for those who aren't as enthusatic as me. First of all, they were a band. Not a singing group, a band. They all played instruments, which makes them different than other teen idols. And the other thing? Dang. I forgot already. I can only assume that it's because I have the back cover of the record propped up before me, and the tartan blinded me. I certainly wasn't blinded by their good looks. The Bay City Rollers are not that cute, and that is another thing to enjoy. A teen idol band that isn't very good looking means that they have talent.
By now you are probably humming Saturday Night, and you are thinking one of two things. You are either thinking, "Uh, that song doesn't scream talent," or you are thinking, "S! A! T-U-R! D-A-Y! Night! S! A! T-U-R! D-A-Y! Night! S! A!...I have work to do, and I will never forgive you in a million years for making Saturday Night go through my head." It's not my fault that the song is so catchy. It wasn't a hit for no reason.
Suh-suh-suh-sat-ur-day ni-ight! Suh-suh-suh-sat-ur-day ni-ight!
S! A! T-U-R! D-A-Y! Night!
Oh! I remembered! The other thing that the Bay City Rollers have going for them is that their album is solid. A problem with most teen idol records is that they contain about three hit singles, and between six and eight songs of pure crap to round out the album. Not so with the Bay City Rollers. There is not one song that needs to be skipped. It is one pop gem after another.
Sure, they didn't write the majority of the tunes on the album, that is a symptom of teen idol status that they didn't manage to avoid, but do you know who wrote a bunch of their songs? Phil Coulter. Am I talking about well-respected folk artist Phil Coulter? I sure am. He wrote a few, the band wrote a couple, and then there are the covers, which are a staple of teen idol albums. Shaun Cassidy had himself a hit with Da Doo Ron Ron, Leif Garrett gained popularity as a recording artist with California Girls way before David Lee Roth ever had the idea, and the Bay City Rollers are no different. They work their magic on Bye Bye Baby, Be My Baby, and Keep On Dancing. And they do a great job. Well, they do a great job on the whole album. Allow me to give you the guided tour of the self-titled dream that is the first Bay City Rollers album.
Give A Little Love
This is a song to make the eleven-year-olds swoon. There is a mellow piano line dancing along under the verse, and there are sweeping background vocals throughout the entire song. It even has a spoken word interlude in the middle about being, "safe and sound in your heart." Performed live, it would be the ideal time to make eyes at one special girl in tartan, possibly even winking at her, thus making her day for the next two years. Oh, I think I just heard a pick slide. That makes my day for the next two years.
Bye Bye Baby
An uptempo delight. Sure, it has lyrics to make the preteens sad, but I ignore them, choosing instead to focus on the rollicking good-time piano. Then I take some time out to savor the fact that the song contains a guitar solo. It's not the greatest guitar solo ever, but I give them credit for trying. Since three out of the five Bay City Rollers are credited with Electric Guitar, I have no way of knowing which one of them let loose with the solo. It's Les, Woody, or Eric. That's all I can tell you.
Shang-A-Lang
And what can I tell you about Shang-A-Lang? It just made me hop out of my chair and turn the volume up three or four more notches. Shang-A-Lang is sing-along fun. It has a nice Rock and Roll Part II style drum interlude in there, so all the Rollers can sing. In concert I can only assume it is the part where they all go to the edge of the stage and clap their hands over their heads, thus forcing the audience to do the same.
Marlina
Marlina is trying to sound like something, but I can't decide what. The opening guitar lick sounds suspiciously like it belongs on the soundtrack to A Hard Day's Night, but I think it's just Beatles-style, not Beatles-stolen. And the first note that Les hits? Say hello to his scratchy, still-with-Small-Faces-Rod-Stewart style voice. But then his voice smooths out and he is back to being dreamy in a non-threatening way. It's another song for the wistful preteen. A well-crafted song for the wistful preteen, but a song for the wistful preteen nonetheless.
Let's Go (A Huggin' and a Kissin' in the Moonlight)
There are so many things right with this song I don't know where to start. Well, I'll start with the parentheses. Then there are the apostrophes. Two apostrophes in one song title, particularly apostrophes nestled within parentheses, are a very fine thing. The title is fun to say, it's fun to sing, it's fun for the entire family. (Especially if your family is predominantly females who were in junior high in the seventies.) And...and...and...hee! After he suggests going a huggin' and a kissin' in the moonlight, he adds, "Girl, I told your mama and it's all right." What? I was not aware that my mom was doling out that sort of permission to the Bay City Rollers. Didn't she question the fact that a fiftyish Scottish dude was a knockin' on her door? A fiftyish Scottish dude that rocks! You know how much they rock? Before the last chorus, they execute my favorite cheap rock trick, the half-step up.
Be My Baby
Be My Baby is such a brilliant piece of work that you have to really be trying to foul it up, and the Bay City Rollers do not. They succeed in showcasing all of its glory, yet manage to make it sound like a Bay City Rollers song. It made me get up and do the Twist, even though it isn't really the right tempo for Twisting.
Summer Love Sensation
Time to frolic! Summer Love Sensation is a bouncy tune for the preteen who dreams of skipping along the beach with the Roller of her choice. (My choice would be Alan, because he is the oldest. And he has the least terrible haircut of all of them, which isn't saying a whole heck of a lot.) The song is so good I can forgive all the rhyming. (The words run, sun, fun, and one all in a single line? Too much.)
Remember (Sha La La La)
Another song with parentheses! The Bay City Rollers rule! Remembering sha la la la sounds like an abstract concept, but they aren't technically remembering sha la la la. Sha la la la is acting as a modifier for the remembering. It's another charming pop tune, non-threatening and puppy-lovish. And there is another one of those breaks where one could clap if one so desired. And there are some interesting borderline falsetto background vocals that make me wonder if they were inspired by David Bowie and T. Rex, but that might be wishful thinking on my part.
Saturday Night
The fact that Saturday Night is stuck halfway through side two and is not track one, side one, is further proof that the whole album is good. Saturday Night brings us back to the world of pure pop hits. I will keep on dancing to the rock and roll, thank you so much for inviting me. Suh-suh-suh-sat-ur-day ni-ight! Suh-suh-suh-sat-ur-day ni-ight! S! A! T-U-R! D-A-Y! Night! Please take a moment to relish the fact that Phil Coulter co-wrote Saturday Night.
My Teenage Heart
Time to give one more solid thump to the heartstrings of the seventies. Doesn't the title say it all? It's like Teenager In Love, only not. Someone is breaking his teenage heart in two! And he is blue! It's not as lame as I just made it sound. The song is cram-jammed with lush background vocals that make it much more interesting than an ordinary teen love song. And it is another bouncy song! The jaunty piano makes up for the syrupy lyrics.
Keep On Dancing
Another favorite that everyone knows! Any song that encourages me to keep on dancin' and a-prancin' is all right with me. Okay, that is probably not true. But if the Bay City Rollers want to repeatedly say a-prancin' then that is okay with me. This closes the album, and it makes me sad because that means the album is over, which in turn means that it's time to play the album again.
Your guided tour of the first Bay City Rollers record has come to an end, so here is your chance to rush right out and buy it. It's a pop classic, and once you hear it, you will never think of the Bay City Rollers the same way again. Yes, the mere mention of the group will still conjure up visions of your tartan wearing babysitter, but that's not all. From now on, when you hear the name Bay City Rollers, you will also think of your new favorite album.