Of all the things that Beavis and Butthead used to do to express their distaste for a video, my very favorite was when Beavis would stand up, drop his pants, and wave his Beavis butt at the television. It really got the job done with a minimum of words. I myself prefer hurling socks at the TV, and Mike Nelson (in his Movie Megacheese book) recommends throwing Brazil nuts. But sometimes a sock or a snack just isn't enough.
Back in my school days, which only ended last week, my great hobby was falling asleep on LCG's couch while watching wrestling, possibly accompanied by one of his odd cats. After wrestling was over, he would feel free to flip channels. One night a few months ago, I was out cold on the couch when he settled on VH1.
Suddenly, the voice of Freddie Mercury came creeping into my mind. I woke right up and hollered, "Do I hear Queen?" I sure enough did! Queen was on TV! Turns out, it was the 1977 Behind The Music, and I had slept soundly until Queen was on. Awake and confused, I sat up and glowered at the screen, waiting for errors. I always listen carefully to rock and roll documentary-type programs to make sure that all facts about Queen are correct. On this program, they were. I relaxed and leaned back to bask in the glow of people saying nice things about Queen.
The program then turned its attention to other prominent rock bands of 1977, including many bands that I enjoy very much. And then Tommy Shaw appeared. Bad move, VH1. When I wake up, stage one is confusion, and stage two is crabby. Seeing Tommy Shaw when I was already crabby set me off. Before you could blink, I was up off that couch and showing my dislike for Tommy Shaw, Beavis-style. LCG didn't bat an eye, and I think the following conversation further explains why he is my friend:
LCG: "I take it you're not a Tommy Shaw fan."
Me: (butt still directed at television) "No, I'm not."
LCG: "He's not on anymore. You can probably sit down."
Once my bottom was back where it was supposed to be, he asked me why I didn't like Tommy Shaw.
"Because his stupid bangs were always cut too short and he was the worst thing about Damn Yankees and he and Jack Blades put out that record where they were sitting under a mushroom on the cover or something like that and Jack Blades is really good so why was he even hanging out with Tommy Shaw even though I only like Jack Blades because of his hair and because he produced the Samantha 7 record because I really hate Night Ranger. And I don't like Styx either! Tommy Shaw sucks! He sucks!"
There is also the little problem with his solo albums always having terrible cover art. And what about the sorry excuse for an outfit that he is wearing in the video for Too Much Time On My Hands? I'm sorry, I mean Too Much (clap, clap) Time On My Hands, which I only know because of that time it was on Beavis and Butthead. That particular clip is a near perfect Beavis and Butthead experience, save for the fact that Beavis didn't wave his butt at the television. That's okay though, I've got it (un)covered.