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NEWSFLASH! 06-30. (Begin Butthead voice.) Beavis, The Yul Brynner Cookbook is the coolest thing I have ever purchased. Someday, I will only cook food approved by Yul Brynner. (End Butthead voice.) Seriously, I have been flipping through the book and the recipes look smelly (which automatically makes them delicious), and his commentary is great! I have seen the phrase taste treat crop up twice so far. Best. Cookbook. Ever. NEWSFLASH! 06-29. I got The Yul Brynner Cookbook yesterday. According to the cover, it is Food Fit for the King and You. I had no idea he had a cookbook! I love him! And now I love him even more. NEWSFLASH! 06-28. At the Mongolian Barbecue last night, LCG handed me a napkin and told me to get ready to mop up my tears. He had to break the sad news to me that Vince McMahon has fired Rowdy Roddy Piper. But Jeff J. just gave me his Hot Rod! shirt from 1985!!! How can I wear it with a kilt and go see wrestling if Roddy Piper isn't there? In other news, I have conviced Joejung to go see Blue Öyster Cult with me. NEWSFLASH! 06-27. The Bay City Rollers are so very, very underrated. NEWSFLASH! 06-26. Went to see Faster Pussycat and Enuff Z'Nuff the other night with about ten other Rocksnobs. I drank a lot of beer and decided that I have license to pat the Hipster on the fanny. I'm pretty sure he didn't mind. I also saw the Pirate in person for the first time since September. NEWSFLASH! 06-24. I love Al Snow. Love, love, love him. NEWSFLASH! 06-23. Yesterday Jeff J. pointed out that my hairdo is the same one that Vince Neil had during the Theatre Of Pain era. NEWSFLASH! 06-20. 7:00 P.M. I have a new fuel pump and $741 fewer dollars. More importantly, not only did LCG pick me up for work this morning, he brought me some breakfast from McDonald's. Best. Friend. Ever. NEWSFLASH! 06-20. 12:45 A.M. My car broke and I get to pay $800 to have it fixed. Happy graduation. LCG is picking me up in the morning to take me to work, and in case I haven't mentioned lately, he is the greatest guy in the world. Best. Friend. Ever. In other news, I kept almost calling the Pirate to tell him something very important, and now for the life of me I can't remember what it was. I'm guessing it had something to do with Queen. Anyway, my car problem sucks, but CEB called a couple of hours ago and I giggled at him for a while and LCG gave me a ride home from my Cedric adventure. My friends are de-luxe. NEWSFLASH! 06-19. 12:40 A.M. I just emailed in the last of my homework, which means I am done. Done with school. Soon I will get my diploma in the mail (I am too anti-social to attend the ceremony) and I will be official. I'm going to have to find a hobby that causes stress and robs me of sleep. Well, this evening (after I go to bed, get up in six hours, and finish work) My Italian Friend Who Is So Into Being Italian He Is Almost A Caricature and I are going to see Cedric The Entertainer. Going out with MIF guarantees I will be out too late, and I guess that is a pretty good start. NEWSFLASH! 06-17. I don't have anything nice to say about last night's episode of Raw, although my main man Al Snow was back and his hair looked fabulous! And unlike Shawn Michaels or the dreaded Kevin Nash, Al Snow doesn't wear relaxed fit jeans. I hate relaxed fit jeans. NEWSFLASH! 06-16. CEB called from Cleveland on Friday night (he was attending some sort of metal fest) to tell me that Mr. E (the most metal guy I know) turned into a giddy schoolgirl when he met the lead singer of Candlemass. NEWSFLASH! 06-15. Journey story, extremely short version: Journey was excellent, Styx sucks, REO Speedwagon blows, and the entire arena full of people who looked like they would love the Hard Rock Cafe were so lame I almost cried. It's like, I know these people only get out of the house once a year, but that doesn't mean they have to get as drunk as possible and act stupid when they do. Anyway, Journey rules, and that is what counts. NEWSFLASH! 06-14. 5:32 PM. I have earplugs in my pocket and tickets in my hand. I am fixing to run out the front door and get the Journey adventure underway! NEWSFLASH! 06-13. Journey is tomorrow night! Woo-hoo! NEWSFLASH! 06-10. Surly. Very surly. In other news, if Raw was supposed to get me all excited for the pay-per-view, it didn't work. And I still don't like Van Halen. NEWSFLASH! 06-06. I don't like Van Halen. NEWSFLASH! 06-05. I went to the library last night and couldn't check out any books until I had paid them my $44 in overdue fees. NEWSFLASH! 06-04. Raw was just terrible on Monday, but Chris Jericho's outfit was one of the cutest things he has ever worn, and that almost made up for the show's lousy writing. Almost. |
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NEWSFLASH! 05-31. Went to the ball game last night with LCG and was scandalized to find out that the cheap seats are now $6 instead of $5. But after my night at the ball park, I am ready to upgrade to the $14 seats. That gets me upper deck reserved or lower deck general admission, and it will be worth an extra eight bucks if it keeps me away from packs of junior high school girls squeaking over Doug Mientkiewicz and A.J. Pierzynski. NEWSFLASH! 05-29. I talked to CEB last night, and he told me that he isn't sure if he is going to see Chubby Checker or not. He's the one who updates me with all the latest Chubby Checker news and he is thinking of not going? I should knock some beers off the beer counter for that. He already told me he is never going to cash them in, just let them accumulate like airline miles, so he won't notice if a few suddenly vanish. NEWSFLASH! 05-26. Last night I watched Thursday's Smackdown! and the Undertaker is back! And he ran out to the ring. LCG and I had to rewind the tape to verify that we had actually seen that. The Undertaker never exerts that much energy. Whenever he does something like run, or sell a punch, we fall over giggling, and last night was too much. We were in hysterics. NEWSFLASH! 05-24. I am having a fabulous afternoon of Mike Nesmith music! (And homework.) So far I have listened to Mr. Nesmith with the First National Band, then I played some late-era Monkees, where his country leanings really came through, and now I am listening to solo Mike Nesmith. He is so wonderful, yet so very underrated. Just forget about the wool hat and go buy some Mike Nesmith albums today! NEWSFLASH! 05-20. Still sick, and I have a pile of homework hanging over my head. What a big day. NEWSFLASH! 05-19. Mid-term week! That, of course, means that I am at home sick today. I am so glad this is the last quarter of school. I have been getting a cold every midterm and/or finals week since I started, and I can't wait for that to end. NEWSFLASH! 05-17. Now that the Wild have been eliminated from the playoffs, I can turn my attention to the greatest of all sports seasons, baseball season. Woo-hoo! (I can only follow one non-pro wrestling sport at a time. My attention span vanishes if I try to keep up with more than one.) NEWSFLASH! 05-16. The other day I said that I have been getting enough sleep, and since then I have had no more than five hours of sleep a night. D'oh! In other news, LCG and I are composing a list of Best Wrestlers To Have As A Spouse. The list is made up of the people we think are least likely to go into a roid rage. So far the winners are Chris Benoit, Lance Storm, and Chris Jericho. Apparently, you also have to be from Canada to make the list. NEWSFLASH! 05-12. I am so baffled. I'm staying on top of my homework, I have been getting enough sleep and I have clean laundry. I've been writing for the site, and I'm starting to win the war with Photoshop. I had no idea that taking three classes instead of four would lighten my load this much. And when this quarter is done, I am completely done! I won't know what to do with my time. NEWSFLASH! 05-11. I just woke up, and that means that the amount of nicotine in my bloodstream is below the minimum level required to keep me pleasant. As a result, I hate everybody and I am quite certain that everybody hates me. This happens to me every single morning. I hate that too! NEWSFLASH! 05-10. Saturday night! Accounting homework! Tonight I watched WWE Confidential while preparing income statements and right now I am in the middle of watching WWE Bottom Line. They are dull recap shows that I usually skip, but tonight I wanted to see the tributes to Miss Elizabeth. If you didn't know, the lovely Miss Elizabeth died this week. (You know the lovely Miss Elizabeth! She was the Ma-cho Man's manager and always wore fabulously 80s sequined gowns. But it was the 80s, so it was okay.) Vince McMahon was so sincere in his interview clips, for a minute there I almost believed that he is human. NEWSFLASH! 05-09. I woke up this morning with a severe case of Theatre Of Pain-era Vince Neil Hair. NEWSFLASH! 05-08. I took today and tomorrow off work, so last night I was able to stay up much later than usual and write a new article! And I finished up some homework too! In other news, it's the 12th anniversary of my first Queensrÿche show! And it's NoK's birthday! What a big day. NEWSFLASH! 05-07. I walked into Walgreens tonight (for some Walgreens brand ice cream) just in time to hear the last verse of Band On The Run! NEWSFLASH! 05-06. I slept through Raw last night, which is very exciting because I was then able to stay up late and watch the hockey match. And I taped Raw, so everybody wins! Well, I win. In other news, I have had no new articles lately because the time I usually use to write is being sucked up by my computerized nemesis, Photoshop. I am working on a Rocksnobs logo and to call my pace a snail's pace would be insulting to snails everywhere. In still other news, as of today, I have been at my job for one year. NEWSFLASH! 05-05. Huge day yesterday. I went to the used fashion warehouse and scored both a Morrissey t-shirt and a Judas Priest Crew t-shirt from last year's tour. Then within a span of thirty minutes, Joejung called me to see if I wanted to go to Wal-Mart and CEB called from San Diego. I felt super popular even though Joejung never called me back and CEB was mostly calling for Aaaahj's phone number. That's okay, because I finished up the evening watching last Thursday's Smackdown!. This is probably no big surprise, but I've just got to say it anyway. I love Roddy Piper so very, very much. NEWSFLASH! 05-03. I'm having another big Saturday of watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 while working on Accounting homework. I will totally understand if you ride your bike past my house and holler, "Nerd!" NEWSFLASH! 05-01. I have placed all of the Rules Of Etiquette in one convenient spot, which means that today's update is actually a clip show. |
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NEWSFLASH! 04-30. Last night I was sorting through my records and I discovered many exciting things, which I plan to discuss at a later date. However, this one cannot wait: On Strange Frontier, Roger Taylor covers a Bruce Springsteen song. It only took me ten years to notice, but now that I have, I want to talk about Roger's song choice with everyone I know. But I can't, because I'm pretty sure that no one else cares. NEWSFLASH! 04-29. Last night, Stone Cold Steve Austin was named co-General Manager of Raw. Raw is my favorite WWE program already, because there is more feuding and less wrestling, and I'm a sucker for the entertainment part of sports entertainment. And no one entertains like Steve Austin! Don't look now, but I may be giddy. NEWSFLASH! 04-27. I was listening to some Morrissey today. How much does Lucky Lisp rock? So much! And I accidentally discovered the fastest way to end a phone call with CEB. I said, "I'm listening to Stryper right now," and his response was, "I have to go." When I hollered at him, he claimed that he had been about to get off the phone anyway. NEWSFLASH! 04-26. I spent my afternoon reading a book about gardening, and now I am going to start about four hours' worth of Accounting homework. Frat boys have got nothing on me as far as Saturdays go. NEWSFLASH! 04-23. LCG and I have a running tally of jobs that are worse than mine, and they are: Scott Steiner's makeup artist, the person who bleaches Scott Steiner's goatee, or being a female working for Vince McMahon in any capacity. Although I was watching the Ten Commandments the other day and realized that building cities for Pharaohs is way worse than my job. I can't wait to find a job in my field. Of course, two weeks ago, my career tests said I should be a writer, editor, astronomer, or landscape gardener. Last week I discovered I was best suited to writer, editor, or carney. Really. I scored very high in the Amusement category. NEWSFLASH! 04-20. Last night I noticed that in the Clapper article, I had Radio Ga Ga spelled as Radio Ga-Ga. That is wrong! There is no hyphen in Radio Ga Ga! It is fixed now, but I am still horrified that I made a Queen typo. There is no excuse for that. NEWSFLASH! 04-19. I can't believe that John Cena beat Chris Benoit on Thursday. Cena is no match for the Rabid Wolverine. I mean, come on! Benoit is the greatest technical wrestler in the world! He said so himself, and why would he make that up? Hee! His nickname is the Rabid Wolverine! That is so cool. NEWSFLASH! 04-18. I've been more surly than usual this week, because Tuesday's article made me a little testy. And the word testy makes me think of Test, my least favorite of all the WWE wrestlers. He did knock Chris Jericho's hair out of the ponytail on Monday, but that does not make up for his hideous ring attire and the fact that he is just generally icky. NEWSFLASH! 04-15. Did you see Raw? Best episode ever. Chris Jericho has shaved his goatee so his perfect face is back in perfect view! And he was wearing a ponytail which was so loosely tied that as he made his entrance, LCG said, "That's coming out during the match." Sure enough, the ponytail holder started sliding as soon as the match started, and I started laughing like Butthead. "Uhhh. Huh-huh. Huh-huh. Huh-huh," for three straight minutes. I did stop snickering long enough to point out that somewhere, CEB was probably watching, all the while making fun of me in his mind for being so excited about Jericho's hair. NEWSFLASH! 04-14. I love Wal-Mart! Last night I even veered into the clothing section, but then I remembered that the perky girls in the commercials are thrilled about the cute clothes. I don't wear cute clothes. I was wearing jeans that had more holes than fabric (but only in the back-I don't understand that even though no one is to blame for the wear and tear of my clothing but me), so I scurried off to buy hair dye and pens instead. NEWSFLASH! 04-11. My quote updates are very sporadic these days, and for that I blame my friends. No one has said anything funny lately, so I'm going into re-runs. I have saved all of the quotes I have ever used, and since I only had about five readers when I introduced the feature, they will be new to most of you. NEWSFLASH! 04-08. Did you see Raw? Triple H makes me positively ill. When Triple H is on the television, LCG and I strongly consider changing the channel. The fact that the fabulous and underrated Chris Jericho was also in the match last night was the only thing that kept us watching. I'm even having a hard time liking Ric Flair these days, since he is all the time hanging around with Triple H. Plus, Vince McMahon has made Flair cut out most of the "Woo!" Ric Flair without "Woo!" is like, um, something that sucks. That's the best analogy I could come up with right now. NEWSFLASH! 04-07. Today was the greatest day ever at work because they unloaded one of the many useless supervisors. However, because of this, tomorrow I have to attend a 2.5 hour long meeting. I don't care for that at all. NEWSFLASH! 04-05. School starts on Monday, and one of my classes is Business Ethics. It better go beyond the basics or I am going to be super ticked. I already know, "Don't dump mercury into the river. That's bad. Don't say that you aren't dumping mercury into the river if you are indeed dumping mercury into the river. That's bad too. Don't keep two sets of books. That is also bad." On the plus side, I may get to read a case study about Steve and Ian, owners of Studio 54. In other news, I am still listening to Cheap Trick At Budokan. NEWSFLASH! 04-02. Did you listen to Cheap Trick At Budokan yesterday? I sure did. NEWSFLASH! 04-01. Brock Lesnar only has a concussion. Whew! |