I grew up in a country where football is called soccer and a cripplingly boring sport with zero entertainment value is called football. I only point this out because I have quite a few readers in the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia and I don't want them to think I am taking shots at their sport called football. These are the lands that brought us Queen, The Kids In The Hall, and AC/DC! I can't just be offending their football fans all willy-nilly. On top of that, the members of Iron Maiden like football and I like Iron Maiden, therefore I don't want to accidentally be rude.
I would much rather be rude on purpose about American Football, which, for the rest of this piece will be referred to as football. Because it's easier. Anyway, I am not a big football fan. I'll watch the stories about football on the ESPN, but I really prefer to avoid football. I like baseball. And now that I am out of school and have time to follow sports, my chosen winter sport is hockey.
Am I ever having fun learning about hockey! And how much do I love Jacques Lemaire, head coach of the Wild? So very much. He's a French Canadien sass machine! I would like to see more of him on the television, and now that football season is wrapping up, maybe my wish will come true. (I know they will probably give the extra time to the NBA, but I can dream.)
Anyway. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl, which is an event that I don't find all that super. I think it's super that the football season is coming to an end, but I don't think it's very super that I will have to listen to everyone discuss the Super Bowl Commercials for the next few weeks.
I mention this because I was just reading an article on Super Bowl Commercials and it told me about a commercial that I am guessing will give me a headache. Reading about it gave me a headache, actually seeing it will probably cause me to throw stuff at the television. I often throw stuff at the television, but this commercial will make me want to throw something more solid than a sock or a pillow.
I read a preview of a soda commercial featuring Britney Spears, Beyoncé, and Pink. That isn't the problem. The problem is that the article told me what song they are performing in the commercial. Apparently they are reworking the old Queen hit We Will Rock You.
That is how it was phrased. Reworking the old Queen hit We Will Rock You.
1. Reworking? What does that mean? Does that mean placing a modern dance-oriented spin on We Will Rock You?
2. The old Queen hit? Why say that? Why not just say Queen's We Will Rock You? We know that it was a hit. Why call it an old hit? It's not that old! It's not even the oldest Queen hit.
3. Why? Please tell me why this has happened.
I told LCG about the article and he said, "But you consider that change falling into Brian May's pocket!" True. LCG doesn't just make stuff up. But I have a We Will Rock You limit. While I approve of Brian May's royalties arriving via sporting events, I find this particular venture very upsetting. Britney, Beyoncé, and Pink. Singing We Will Rock You.
Why?
Yesterday I got email from Miss Megala asking me what I thought of the commercial. I was all, "It doesn't debut until Sunday!" and then I remembered that Sunday must be the U.S. debut, and since she isn't in the U.S., she must have seen it already. She told me that I could go to Brian May's site and see a preview of it. I don't think I can. She also told me that Brian and Roger are in it for about five seconds.
So.
Brian May and Roger Taylor are in a commercial for soda. The same commercial that stars Britney Spears, Beyoncé, and Pink. I'm going to let that sink in for a minute, even though my head is starting to hurt again. By the way, what is Beyoncé doing in that commercial? She is way more talented than Britney or Pink. I am confident that she will outshine them both, but I worry that I will forget to notice that because I will be too busy wailing over the mangling of We Will Rock You.
Fortunately for me I won't be watching the Super Bowl, so I will be able to get LCG to screen the clip for me. Once he has seen it, I know that in the future I will be able to count on him to change the channel before I catch a single glimpse. I like to think it's because he is the Best. Friend. Ever., but I know it's not just that. He is the Best. Friend. Ever. who doesn't want an ashtray thrown through his television.