Article disclaimer: Do forgive the excessive amount of swearing that occurs in today's item. I am merely transcribing what I said the other night when I had a particularly adverse reaction to VH1 Classic. I don't generally cuss that much all at once, and I certainly don't like to post this much blue language on the site, but I was mad. It all started twelve years ago...
After the Super Bowl I was watching some VH1 Classic with LCG and they played a video that caused me to have a snit. It was All The Young Dudes. Now, All The Young Dudes is a song I love very much. Love it. This particular version was credited to David Bowie, Ian Hunter, Mick Ronson, and Queen. It was from the Freddie Mercury tribute concert that took place in 1992, and that is where the problem came in. Somehow LCG didn't notice where the clip originated, I think he just assumed since David Bowie was on the television, we would be watching.
Well, Bowie introduced Mick Ronson and I started getting twitchy. Then Ian Hunter appeared and I scooted to the edge of the couch and continued fidgeting.
Me: I don't know if I can watch this. But Mick Ronson is there! Mick Ronson!
LCG: Is that who I think it is back there?
(He thought he had spied Roger Taylor.)
Me: Yes it is. I just don't know if I can watch this. (I started rocking back and forth on the couch as I held the debate with myself.) Boy, Mick Ronson is there...but, it's from the tribute concert.
LCG: So?
Me: I do not endorse the tribute concert, have never seen it, I don't think I have even ever sat through an entire video taken from the concert. But Mick Ronson! And David Bowie is playing the saxophone and singing backup!
LCG: Why is that? (Wondering why I shun the tribute concert.)
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Members of Def Leppard had appeared at the side of the stage to sing backup and I dove for the television and started smacking the control panel until I hit the Off button.
LCG: Oh, I see.
I hit the button one too many times and the TV came back on.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
LCG: You only need to hit it once.
Me: I knooooooooooooooow!
LCG: So, why don't you like the tribute concert?
Me: Fuck the tribute concert and fuck all those fucking bands who fucking showed up and all of a sudden claimed to loooooove Queen when I had never heard them mention it before. FUCK THEM!
LCG: I'm sure Def Leppard liked Queen.
Me: Oh, they liked Queen. I once read that Brian May gave Phil and Steve the pedal he used on Bohemian Rhapsody...
LCG: See?
Me: ...and even though I wasn't even a Queen fan at the time I didn't think they merited owning that pedal.
LCG: Ah.
Me: And I'm not even talking about Def Leppard I am talking about Metallica! Yeah, they fucking covered Stone Cold Crazy but does that mean they should be at a tribute to Freddie Mercury?
LCG: Uh...
Me: And what about Axl fucking Rose? I had never heard one word about him being a Queen fan until Freddie died and then all of a sudden he is hosting documentaries about Queen and talking about how much he loves Queen. Izzy was a Queen fan, but I had never heard Axl say he was. Fucking publicity whore. The only band I didn't mind was Extreme because Nuno Bettencourt couldn't open his mouth without mentioning how much he loved Queen II. Fuck the tribute. I have never seen it and I certainly didn't listen to it when it was broadcast on the local rock station.
I thought it was perfectly nice that the members of Queen wanted to hold a tribute for Freddie Mercury but I chose not to be a part of it. I thought it reduced the surviving members of Queen to mere sidemen trying to carry singers who had no business attempting to sing Freddie's vocal parts. As far as I am concerned, Queen ended on November 24, 1991. I didn't like how all of the performances of the day that included John, Brian, and Roger were credited to Queen. No, it was the surviving members of Queen.
But that is a minor technicality compared to their most recent benefit appearance. I damn near blew a neck vein when I saw the commercial for that. LCG and me were watching a little music television before I had to go to work one day, and I saw it. A commercial that listed the performers scheduled to appear. The list included Queen.
Me: Did you see that?
LCG: See what?
Me: It said that Queen is performing.
LCG: What? Are you sure you read that right?
Me: Positive. And you know what? (Really horrible string of expletives deleted.)
LCG: Are you sure it said Queen?
Me: Ooh! Look!
(The commercial was back! I don't know if it was on a different music channel, or if we were watching the same channel and they were just engaging in heavy promotion.)
LCG: (Watching the TV in a most alert fashion and then exhaling a long breath.) Oh boy. That said Queen.
Me: I don't just make stuff up! (Long rant deleted because I can't remember it.)
LCG: (Using hostage negotiator voice.) Okay...I think it's time for you to give me the remote.
That wasn't Queen. That was Brian May and Roger Taylor. It wasn't even 100% of the surviving members of Queen, much less 100% of Queen. A few unfortunate days later, we actually saw part of the event. The less I say about Roger playing drums with The Corrs, the better.
They have a fucking drummer who was managing capably, why was he there playing along?
Unnecessary.
LCG: Well, maybe it's just members of Queen accompanying other groups.
Me: THAT ISN'T ANY BETTER!
He flipped to another channel. Against his better judgement he flipped back a few minutes later. We were just in time to see the end-of-concert All-Star Jam. I don't know if I hate anything more than the end-of-concert All-Star Jam. It took me a minute to identify the song. You know, it got a little confusing what with all of the stars jamming.
The song was We Are The Champions.
LCG: (giggling, then turning deadpan) You know, they have never sounded better. I think this is the best version of the song I have ever heard.
I hit him with a couch pillow while he continued to giggle. While I think that he is very amusing, I think the dilution of the Queen name is no laughing matter. For I do believe that performing as Queen without all four members of Queen is diluting their legacy, and that is why I rarely (if ever) endorse any post-1991 Queen activity. Because it's not Queen.