I was going to let this one slide because it was too easy, but I can't help myself. Brace yourself for the shock, but Axl Rose has cancelled a Guns N' Roses date. I know! I couldn't believe it either. I mean, Axl is notorious for being punctual and keeping all of his promises and now this happens? Will he ever be able to recover his sterling reputation?
Fortunately for Axl, it's not his fault this time. Did you see the headline? I think it was the best headline I have ever seen, and I've been seeing some doozies lately. I don't usually look to the news for article ideas, but in the past several weeks Yahoo! has handed me topics too irresistible to ignore. There has been a Chubby Checker protest, a Jessica Simpson variety show, and a Bret Michaels country album. Oh, Yahoo! why must you make it so easy? And then Tuesday I saw this:
GN'R Pulls Out of Lisbon Fest, Buckethead Blamed
My first thought was Lisbon? There is a festival in Portugal? Um. No. Apparently Rock In Rio is actually held in Lisbon, Brazil. Since it is called Rock In Rio, you know, I thought it was in Rio. But I didn't have much time to entertain my ignorance about geography because I had moved on to the most interesting part of the headline. Buckethead Blamed. Buckethead? Blamed? For a problem with Guns N' Roses? Something is amiss.
Just a few paragraphs into the story, Axl refers to Buckethead as erratic. Axl Rose accused someone else of erratic behavior. And apparently the troubles with Buckethead have made it hard to make solid plans for recording and touring. Excuse me? I believe the GNR touring problems pre-date Buckethead's arrival by several years.
I hadn't even finished reading the article when I sent the link to Monty. He has previously established his interest in GNR so I thought he might enjoy the news. His take on the item was, how badly do you have to behave for Axl to be annoyed? My best guess is that Axl wanted a scapegoat. I think that Axl took an old news clipping about himself, crossed out every occurrence of the word Axl, replaced it with Buckethead, and sent the edit job to the press.
I bet he wanted to back out of Rock In Rio and needed a fresh excuse. Because if it is so important to him, why doesn't he just hire a replacement? The news came out on March 30th, the concert date is May 30th. That is sixty-one days. Even if it took him a month to find a pinch hitter, there would still be a month for rehearsals. I don't think it would be that difficult to find a guitar player who knows the whole of Appetite For Destruction. I probably know people who can play all of the songs from Appetite For Destruction.
And any professional studio/session/touring guitarist could pick it up in a few weeks if they didn't know it already. Come on Axl, there are alternatives. But while a pro could probably learn the songs without any difficulty, maybe it would take longer than sixty-one days to get the paperwork sorted out. I can only imagine that working with Axl requires piles of contracts and non-disclosure agreements and I hate to think what else. But to be hired for just one show, particularly that show, wouldn't it be worth the trouble for both Axl and his new hire?
Wait a minute! When I saw them they had three guitarists. Three. This means that with the loss of Buckethead there are still two guitarists. The original lineup got along just fine with two guitarists, why does Axl now need three? These two guys know the songs and are already in the band! Just tweak the arrangements! If Rock In Rio means so much to Axl, why isn't he making an effort? I suspect he isn't trying because it's really his fault that Guns N' Roses cancelled. Again.