I don't know if I have made this entirely clear, but I hate The Darkness. I hate their album and I particularly hate their press-grabbing abilities because it means that I often have to read about them. I really hate the constant comparisons to Queen. First of all, there is no one comparable to Queen. Second of all, if there existed a band comparable to Queen, it wouldn't be a group as pitiful as The Darkness.
I don't like them.
Not long after I posted the big rumor about my nemesis Justin Hawkins possibly singing for Queen, I got a couple of interesting emails. One was from The Admonisher (who despises The Darkness as much as I), and one was from Megala. Well, we all know what she thinks of The Darkness. They both had sent the latest Queen/Darkness rumor. This time, word was out that The Darkness was going to cover Somebody To Love.
Even though one is a fan and one is a non-fan, they were both equally ticked off about this prospect. I don't believe that members of The Darkness possess even one half of the talent required to pull off a song as complex as Somebody To Love. And when I say one half I mean one tenth.
I don't like them.
In other news, I am annoyed because even though I taped over my copy of Permission To Land several weeks ago, every so often the abominable Black Shuck goes through my head. I know that Megala said that Black Shuck is one of those things that foretells death, but if I want a song about a legend that foretells death do you think I'm going to listen to The Darkness? Absolutely not. I am going to fish through some Iron Maiden until I find a Steve Steve penned treasure. (Since Steve Harris has the single syllable going, LCG and I now call him Steve Steve. It's like Bruce Bruce, only with Steve).
Memo To Steve Harris: If that bothers you, we will stop. All you have to do is send me Bruce's Stranger In A Strange Land costume. I really would wear it every day. I don't just make stuff up.
In fact, Steve Harris could write a better song about ominous legends with two of his bass plucking fingers tied behind his back. He could write a better song while sleeping. Therefore, I get all cranky whenever Black Shuck goes through my head because it is bargain basement quality as far as songs about ominous legends go.
Anyway, I was having an unusually vile day at work on Monday (which rarely happens) when somewhere around 8:30 I got an instant message from Megala.
Megala: Ut-oh, Dragon. Darkness are on the rumor mill again and you aren't going to be happy. "The Darkness will open for Iron Maiden at Madison Square Garden in NYC." Total rumor.
Me: Maiden isn't even touring this year.
Megala: Just rumors. Speaking of which, the Somebody To Love rumor. I find it odd that neither band has acknowledged it.
Well, maybe they will just acknowledge it at the same time they confirm the rumor (May 11) that Justin will be singing with Queen. And in the meantime, why not take a break from riding the coattails of Queen to take a ride on the Iron Maiden coattail express? Since they aren't very good, it's probably a wise move to latch on to groups who do have talent. It's easier than going to band practice.