Whenever Vince Neil does something stupid (or newsworthy, or both) I feel just like a pageant winner being handed a bouquet. Except it's not a real bouquet, and that is just as well because I can't stand the smell of roses. In fact, every time I go to the garden center I want to buy one of those miniature rose bushes in a hanging basket because they look fabulous.
The little roses are so perfectly formed they look like fake flowers. And they come in purple! But then I take hold of a stem, get my finger poked by a miniature rose thorn, and then take a whiff of the blossom. Ew! Rose-y. If that thing was hanging by my window it would bloom more and look all pretty but it would stink. I bet Axl Rose smells better than actual roses. So anyway, when Vince Neil does something stupid it's like being handed a bouquet that smells like Axl Rose.
It never fails. Any time there is fresh Vince Neil news, I get a flood of email from people who found this site by searching for Vince and finding a link to the concert review. The mail usually falls into one of two categories. Sometimes it's someone with a similar story, otherwise it's someone who can't wait for Vince to come to their town so they can acquire a similar story.
For quite some time now, CEB has been trying to bully me into posting a map of the United States for the purpose of marking drunken Vince sightings. He thinks that Minneapolis and Myrtle Beach are a good start, and I'm pretty sure he thinks that if there was a map, people would be more inclined to send in their stories.
Technically I wouldn't even need the full story (because judging by the S.C. email, all Vince shows are the same), just the location. I actually got a sober Vince Neil report a few months ago and CEB promptly declared it to be false. One day Megala was in history class, and her teacher mentioned that the previous evening he had seen a member of Mötley Crüe in Chinatown. Being a good correspondent, Megala stayed after class to find out which Crüe member had been spotted.
Actually, the Noodler wanted to know who it was because she was hoping it was Nikki Sixx. When they found out it was Vince Neil, Megala asked, "Was he sober?" According to the teacher (who apparently gave her an odd look) Vince was sober. CEB refused to believe it. I pointed out that at least he was eating, so he could retain his bloated look that we love. And maybe he was eating something high in sodium! That would enhance both the bloat and the puffiness! CEB didn't think that was good enough. He wanted another drunk story!
Then there are the people who are hoping to one day see a Vince Neil concert like the one we experienced. I got an email earlier in the week that closed with the line, "Next time Vince rolls into town, I have to check it out!" That is a typical finish to the mail in that category.
When I told LCG about it he was very pleased.
LCG: See?
Me: What?
LCG: We are the biggest Vince Neil boosters around! He should be sending you royalty checks.
Me: I don't know about that.
LCG: Your story generates interest in his live show! You are helping him out.
The very day after we had that conversation, LCG had some exciting news. He informed me that our very favorite club artist was coming back to town. I had no idea who he meant. For a brief but horrible minute I thought he was talking about Bret Michaels. LCG claimed that it is someone I talk about on the site all the time. I was thinking, wait a minute, I don't know if Chubby Checker is a club artist.
But then he said that it was our favorite drunk and it all became clear. Yes, Mr. Vince Neil will be here in a few weeks and there is no chance of us missing this special event. Maybe we could even buy him a drink and try to hand it to him mid-song! A member of the crowd did that the last time we saw him, and we treasure the memory of him taking a break from singing to drink. But I can't do that, it would be artificially creating material and I know that Vince will be able to provide plenty of material all by himself.