Ah, football. Is there anything more boring? Time and again I tell you that the answer is no. There is nothing worse than (American) football. I always add that American part to keep the fans of the football which is known around here as soccer from getting unnecessarily fiesty. Anyway, what could be more boring than football? A hockey fan in severe denial over the NHL lockout, that's what.
I don't have a winter sport this year! What is a person who bought a Canadien flag over the summer in preparation for hockey season to do? I was going to hang it in my living room! Jacques Lemaire is from Canada! I bought! A! Flag! because I love Jacques Lemaire. With no hockey available, I accidentally started following football. The problem is, when I watch the ESPN there is no hockey news and there isn't enough off season baseball news to fill half an hour so I had brainspace available for a different sport.
Plus there is LCG, who does not mind re-explaining on a weekly basis what a "cornerback" does. I'm not actually interested enough in what a "cornerback" does to retain the information for keeps. Once hockey season starts back up I'll need to bump the football info out of my mind so there is room to remember the average ice time for every single member of the Wild.
I was only paying half-assed attention to football but I still spent much of this year starting sentences with the phrase, "That nice young Peyton Manning." I can't help it! I have no hockey! Right now I am more familiar with football than I have ever been except for that time in elementary school when I had a football phase. That was because I had no baseball and needed a winter sport.
At least this time around my new football knowledge is helping me to better enjoy MAD magazine. Of course I always read MAD cover to cover and love it no matter what. I don't see many of the movies they lampoon, but it doesn't matter. In fact, thanks to MAD I know more about movies than I would under normal circumstances.
Well, this month MAD socked it to the upcoming Super Bowl. They figure since it's on FOX this year, it has the potential to be in very bad taste. The segment was delightful and I made sure to show it to LCG. He pointed out that after last year, steps are being taken to prevent issues.
Me: Yeah, I see they got Paul McCartney for the halftime show.
LCG: They are really playing it safe this year.
Me: Wait a minute, since when is Paul McCartney safe? When did he become respectable?
LCG: Hey, yeah! I don't know when that happened.
Me: Never mind that he was in the Beatles. They had that shocking long hair. And he used to play slaughterhouse footage before his concerts.
LCG: Really?
Me: Yep. It was to promote being a vegetarian, I believe, but that is not exactly what I would call family friendly.
Maybe Paul became respectable when he got knighted, I don't know. I mean, he was in the Beatles! When I was small my mom used to tell me (as we listened to the Beatles) about how scandalous the Beatles had been. They had long hair and wanted to hold your hand. By the time she told me this in the late seventies, they were no longer shocking. They might have been downright revered, I don't know. I was five.
Anyway, how did Paul go from getting arrested in Japan to being a safe choice for a highly rated sporting event? I once read an essay by John Waters where he said he looked forward to aging because he was a baby boomer. He figured that baby boomers would control attitudes toward aging, and getting older would be hip. Is that how Paul got the job?
I might understand why Paul was offered the job, but why did he say okay? Does he need the exposure? Is it possible that he will attract new fans by playing at the halftime show? I have a hard time imagining anyone who doesn't know at least a little about Paul McCartney; maybe he'll snag some of the under-ten set. Oh, well. Since I now watch football I'll have to watch the Super Bowl (and have "cornerbacks" explained to me for one more week) but at least I will get to see Paul. He's still my favorite Beatle, even if he is now suitable for the entire family.