Back when my job consisted of reading the entire newspaper every night, my favorite section was the business section. It was by far the best writing in the paper as far as I was concerned, second only to my two favorite sports columnists. It always impressed me that the business writers could take dry facts and make them interesting.
Also, it is truly the most informative part of the paper. I can't tell you how many times LCG would tell me some news and I would answer, "I read that in the business section last week!" It's the section that tells you what will soon be big news. And lucky for me, sometimes it is the section that provides me with material. I still check the music news every day but I'm starting to think I should be reading the finance section instead. That is where I am finding the really fun rock news. First there was Chubby Checker and his bus, then his subsequent bus manufacturer endorsement. Now there is Vince Neil and his vineyards.
That's right, Vince Neil is getting into the wine business. According to the sub-headline he has a longtime passion for fine wines. What? I follow Vince Neil and his passion for alcohol with a great deal of interest and I don't remember him once mentioning wine. I just saw him showing off his house on the MTV the other day and he mentioned both cocktails and beer, but not wine. See, the chairs in the jacuzzi are a nice place for he and the pleasant Mrs. Neil to have a cocktail. Then at the end of the segment he hopped on his motorcycle to go buy beer while Lia looked amused at the whole contrived MTV segment wrap-up.
Anyway, I didn't catch the entire grand tour so maybe I missed the wine cellar. I mean, if he has a passion for fine wine wouldn't he have a wine cellar? I don't know what those cost but I think Vince does okay. He's got a couple of spendy cars in the driveway so I think he could probably afford a wine cellar if he wanted one. I think once you are described as a connoisseur you probably have more bottles than will fit in the rack you picked up at Pier One.
And once you make friends with a winemaker and he wants you to make your own wine, you've got to get a cellar. At least, I think so. I'm not the last word on wine. It gives me a headache. Okay, any wine over two bucks a bottle gives me a headache. I can drink Boone's Farm all day long with no problem, but that is like drinking alcoholic Kool-Aid. It might as well be called Wino's Choice and come with a paper bag. That is the only wine I can drink.
Yes, I've actually been exposed to decent wines at special occasions that friends have had (we do not bother with wine at any other time) and I've gotten a headache as soon as I raised the glass. I don't even need to make contact with the wine for it to do its damage; once I get a whiff I'm done for. I'd much rather sip on a gin and tonic, which gives others headaches if they even hear the word gin but it works out okay for me.
Point being, while I am very interested in the idea of Vince Vineyards, the fact that he is releasing a Cabernet Sauvignon and a Sonoma Chardonnay means nothing to me. I suspect that one is red and one is white though, thanks to Vince's comment that he, "can't imagine enjoying fresh seafood or grilled steak with anything else," and I do know that white goes with fish and red goes with beef rule.
I wonder if that will be a grilled Chubby Checker steak. Maybe not, because guess what else the article said! In addition to turning out fine wines and maybe starting a winery, Vince will be turning out food related products. YES! Another rock and roll star is going into the food business. Soon I will be able to start my own chain of grocery stores that will be like Whole Foods but instead of natural products I will only carry products created by musicians.
You see, as much as I would like to poke fun at Vince Neil for this project, I can't. Not only do I have my new, "I kinda like Vince Neil," stance, I also have embraced Chubby Checker and his career expansion. If I like Chubby Checker and like his food business, that means since I like Vince I have to like his food business too. And that's fine. I just can't wait to see what he releases. I'm guessing that since he is going the wine route his food might be a little more highbrow than beef jerky.
What do people eat with wine other than cheese and crackers and fruit? Actually, that's a pretty good start. If Vince put out specialty crackers I would totally buy those. I love specialty crackers. I mean, I won't turn down a Cheez-It but I can't stop myself from buying fancy pants crackers when I'm at the aforementioned natural grocery store. I have to go there to get my favorite cheese which is smelly and not to be eaten around other people and is not carried at my crummy local grocery store.
Mmm....Cotswold. And once I get my Cotswold wedge in hand there is a shelf of thin crispy crackers begging for my purchase. What am I supposed to do? Not buy them? Ridiculous. So if Vince starts endorsing crackers and cheese, he's probably got me as a customer. Of course, since I live in the Midwest I will not even have access to his wine right now. It's not going into immediate wide release and at first will only be available in Los Angeles, New York, Nashville, and Las Vegas.
Once it arrives in my town, you can be sure I will buy a bottle and ask Joejung to drink it. Wine isn't his first choice either, but thanks to a legendary phone call I know that he isn't above killing a bottle on his own. And of course, I see no reason not to support Vince's new hobby/business. I might get some good new snack items, and if he's busy approving labels for wine bottles and tasting potential food products he won't have to be on the road pretending to like Nikki Sixx. Everybody wins.