Today's regularly scheduled article about Dwight Yoakam has been pre-empted so I can bring you a true meltdown that really happened. Technically the Dwight item was supposed to be yesterday and since that got delayed does that make him doubly pre-empted? What counts is, my hands and wrist hurt less today. I don't get sore from working all that often but it seems like I do because I mention it every time it happens. I enjoy pointing out that I'm not slacking and instead am trying to avoid some sort of permanent damage.
Anyway. Last night I had a total radio-related meltdown and I think I'm on the road to XM Radio. Fair warning: this is so horrifying you might want to sit down and be prepared to fan yourself with a sheaf of papers. Have a friend or co-worker stand by with smelling salts as an extra precaution. Last night my station for Minnesota Wild hockey pre-empted the game for local election coverage. In an off year. When Wayne Gretzky was in town.
Look, I get the fact that both Minneapolis and St. Paul had mayoral elections going on. I also get the fact that my station for hockey has a television affiliate. So...maybe they could have covered the elections there? There are seventeen minutes between hockey periods; you can cram a lot of coverage into seventeen minutes if you prefer to keep it off television. I turned on the radio at five to seven and heard them say that they would be covering the elections all night. I assumed they meant before and after hockey.
Then they played a Wayne Gretzky interview from earlier in the day. He's so pleasant! I thought they were just cutting the pregame short but they went back to election coverage and I turned into a cross between Cornholio and Yosemite Sam. I was rootin' tootin' hopping mad. The Great One was here! Sure, he was coaching and not playing but come on. I know from commercials that when the regular station doesn't carry hockey I can find it on the Twin Cities' only Spanish speaking FM station. Too bad I couldn't remember the frequency. On top of that, I had just finished the Richard Simmons workout (shut up) and had to hop in the shower so I couldn't be getting on the (dial-up) Internet to check. That picture-riffic Wild site takes six weeks to load.
Instead I played an impromptu game of radio roulette on both AM and FM. The FM sweep was to look for hockey, the AM sweep was just being hopeful. At one point I got a really strong signal and I heard the word Schaumburg and went, "What? Did I hear that right?" I sure did. I had just gotten AM 700 which apparently is my home for Chicago sports talk. Um. Hmmm. Next up, the station I think I was trying to tune in a few months ago so I could hear the Astros play the Brewers. I couldn't get Milwaukee then but I can now that sundown is at what, noon? The reception was a little fuzzy so I didn't stop to verify. Then I got word that traffic was backed up on Arapahoe. Waitta minute...why do I know that road? I thought for a minute that it was near where I stay when I go to Milwaukee.
No, I was thinking of West Allis. Arapahoe!? I stayed on Arapahoe Road when I was in Denver! I knew that there was trouble on Arapahoe because of construction, I walked past that construction on my way to see Iron Maiden. How was I getting Denver in my kitchen? Does the metal bookcase act as one giant antenna? I have a bookcase that I got from my parents and it is older than me. Metal shelves printed with woodgrain, purchased somewhere before 1974. Fantastic! But they weren't using it and I have almost no cabinet space and I need a spot for my boom box and cookbooks and rice cooker.
And since it apparently also a giant antenna I can get Chicago sports and the traffic report in Denver. But the hockey game being played a few miles down the road in St. Paul? Nothing! I glowered and showered and looked up the Spanish-speaking FM station. That's how they plug it so I didn't even know the call letters. I had to go to the Wild site and there it was! Listed right on the main page! And guess what! Its frequency is 107.5 and the oldies station is 107.9. And you know what that means! I can't get 107.5 because of signal spillover.
So I clicked on the giant XM ad on the Wild site and started plotting. I set the plot in motion a while back and have even informed my parents that all I need for Christmas is a gift card in the amount of their choice. I'm not going to shell out three hundred dollars for anything that I can't drive to work but if they chip in I won't be so horrifed at the price. I'm not done with the research though, so if I change my mind I can always buy toilet paper with the gift card.
However, since my last drooly XM item I have been informed that they have a year-round baseball station. Year! Round! Baseball! Talk! They get all the hockey games! I want that! The day after the first XM item the giddy email came flooding in from all kinds of readers. Both Miss Q and her little sister wrote to rave about the oldies stations and another reader told me that she didn't know how she survived her morning drive before XM. The reader to be named later had this to say:
I'm having the same conundrum about satellite radio, I was almost sold on XM then I saw Sirius and it was like Malibu Stacy with the new hat and I'm looking back and forth at them and Mr. Smithers keeps pointing at Sirius and saying "but she's got a new hat!!!"
I don't have that problem because it might have a new hat but it doesn't have every single baseball game played in the major leagues! Baseball! Béisbol! I don't recall having such severe withdrawal last year and that was without hockey season to distract me. And let's not forget the fact that I can't always get playoff baseball on the radio because it gets pre-empted for the local NBA club so during October sometimes I only get the last couple of innings. And another thing, the Twins just hired their minor league hitting coach as the major league coach. The guys coming up can't hit all that well, how is that going to work out? I might like having other baseball games available when I want to hear things like teams getting men on base.
Now I'm just nitpicking but I'll pretend it is part of my research. With all of these issues I have hearing my local teams I think I will cave and get XM. I have to finish poking around their site because I want to make the most informed choice possible. Although what with the commercial free music in many formats and almost unlimited baseball I suspect I might already be sold.