LCG's mysteriously aggressive campaign to get me to listen to AFI continued late last week with a phone call.
Me: Hello?
LCG: Do you get FM radio at your house?
Now, this was a baffling question. Was he poking fun at my enjoyment of AM radio or was he seriously asking? Maybe my grumbling about how I could get the Denver traffic report but not the local hockey game reshuffled itself in his head and came back out as, "she can't get FM radio." Or it could be the fact that I only use the boom box in the kitchen for all radio, because I don't get AM on my receiver. I think that is because I don't have an AM antenna or something. If I had ever opened up the instruction manual I bet I would know for sure. Maybe because of that he thought it was FM that gave me problems.
Me: What?
LCG: Do. You. Get. FM. Radio. At. Your. House.
Me: Yeah, but FM isn't as groovy as the AM band.
LCG: Can you do me a favor?
Me: What.
LCG: Coming out of the next commercial 93X is going to play the new AFI single. Can you listen to it and then call me back and tell me what you think?
Me: Why?
LCG: Because I think you would really like AFI if you just gave them a chance.
Me: What is your problem?
LCG: Can you do that?
Me: Fine.
Not only did I turn on the crummy local rock station, the one that still plays Spoonman as if it is a new single, I stood next to the radio. I figured if I was going to listen I would focus so I leaned against my sink opposite the radio and folded my arms across my chest. There may have been glowering too, as I was trying to get something done before the ball game. I don't remember what that something was, but it was obviously more important than listening to AFI.
At the time, waiting for the commercial break, I didn't know why LCG was so het up about AFI. He has been trying to push AFI on me for three years now and I always say, "No thank you." I pass. He has become so AFI persistent in the last couple of weeks that I suspect him of being on their payroll. I think he is a one-man street team assigned to get me to listen to AFI. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Just me.
It all started three years ago, probably almost to the day. I was in the middle of working on accounting homework one night when I got a phone call from LCG. He was at a show and AFI was one of the opening acts. "You gotta get down here!" he yelled, "these guys really want to be the Misfits!" Well. Hmm. It was my last quarter of school so I could have tried some slacking but it's not possible to slack on accounting homework. An assignment full of essay questions, you can skim the book and give it your best shot. An assignment full of balance sheets, not so. There were no shortcuts so I said, "Accounting homework."
He said it was just as well because even though I was only five or ten minutes away, since they were opening I wouldn't be able to see more than a few songs. He swore that I would have to check out AFI next time they were around because he was sure I would love them. Not after that song on the Madden game is all I have to say. I forget which came first, the AFI song on the Madden game or the failed attempt to see AFI, but the Madden game (I don't recall the year) soured me on AFI forever. Then I saw an AFI video. Um. Uh. Huh-huh. That extra soured me on AFI forever.
Of course LCG claimed I couldn't decide based on one song and since he had Sing The Sorrow he tried to get me to listen to it. I made it through two songs before I ran screaming from the desk to find LCG to complain about his crappy album. The main problem, I thought, is that the singer was using that cutesy-poo Emo kind of voice. I do not want to hear anyone singing in a cutesy-poo voice, but that fake-sensitive wailing that young male singers use these days is just awful. I believe that they believe that the more sensitive they seem, the more likely they are to score. It's probably true and that's sad because their jeans don't even fit right.
So there I am in my kitchen looking at the radio and the song came on. It wasn't bad. I listened to the whole thing, carefully switched my radio back to AM before shutting it off, and went to sit back down and call LCG.
LCG: Hello!
Me: Well, I listened to it.
LCG: And?
(He sounded all hopeful, like someone waiting to see what is behind door number three.)
Me: I liked it.
LCG: Isn't he trying to sound like Glenn Danzig?
Me: I didn't notice. I just noticed that he wasn't using that stupid cutesy voice. He was singing properly and sounded good. I liked the drums too. And the group heys were well placed. And there was a brief section, maybe only a measure or two, where they sounded Queensrÿche-y. And the good kind of Queensrÿche-y, from back when they wore leather trenchcoats. If AFI likes any Queensrÿche it would be that Queensrÿche.
LCG: In the video he is singing on top of a building and the crowd below is dressed in black and during the heys they all raise a fist and say hey.
Me: Ohh, very Queensrÿche-y. Nice.
LCG: And then four giant banners unfurl and roll down the side of the building and each banner is a band member photo.
Me: Ooh, too Stalin-y. I don't care for that.
LCG: But you liked the song?
Me: It was all right, yeah.
LCG: You should get the album!
Me: Why are you so obsessed with me liking AFI?
LCG: Because they are hanging in the balance! They are a band that you could either absolutely hate or they could be your favorite band in the entire world and I think if you gave them a chance they would be your favorite band.
Me: I'm fine with continuing to hate them.
LCG: No! They're your favorite band!
Me: I don't think so.
LCG: You can decide for sure when we go see them.
Me: I don't think so.